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As a little girl, I always dreamed of being in a beauty pageant.  Each year, I would make sure that when the Miss America competition came on television, I was free to sit and watch it from beginning to end.  It was something about how each girl would present themselves in front of millions of people (including the people watching via TV), full of confidence as they present their best selves to the world.  At the beginning of the show, I would always choose the contestants I believe would be in the top 12 and final 4.

Sometimes I was spot on and other times I left the TV scratching my head wondering what the judges were thinking.  Either way watching the competition was a momentous occasion for me as I too hoped to grace the stage one day.  In 2003, I competed for the Miss NC USA title.  I had no idea what the preparation looked like.  This was before Instagram and TIK TOK.  The most I got from google at the time was smile, be confident, and walk straight.  Not really much to go on, but what the heck I did just that to the best of my ability. 

While preparing for this competition I was also planning my wedding.  The competition was in April and my wedding was in May.  Talk about a lot going on.  I committed to losing weight in preparation for both events.  I lost a total of 25 pounds.  That in and of itself was a huge accomplishment for me.  This accomplishment gave me the feeling that I could surely win this competition.  I prayed a lot during that time.  I asked God to let me win the title and I solicited prayers from my church family to pray the same on my behalf.  Needless to say, I didn’t win. 

From a performance perspective there was plenty of room for improvement but also my faith and the specificity of my prayer needed some care. James 1:6 says, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” I believe that I had mustard seed faith, but that faith was misplaced.  Instead of placing that faith in God, I had placed that faith in myself. Instead of humbly submitting my prayer request to God, I basically told God what I wanted him to do.

I was trying to win the competition within my own strength.  Over the next several years, I would compete several more times.  This time I changed the way I prepared.  I sought God, got a pageant coach, stayed fit and stayed focused.  Unfortunately, I still didn’t place and that was OK.  While I was able to place my mustard seed faith in God, that season taught me how stay connected with God, when he says No.

Sometimes I believe many of us have the perception that if we believe and have faith as the bible say, then God will grant us what we asked for. Ma’am/Sir, that is not always the case and these competitions showed me that.  Sometimes what we are believing God for and God’s purpose just doesn’t align.  This can be hard to comprehend for many of us. 

Our faith walk is taken one step at a time.  It is not all-encompassing of one situation and then you give up. Faith isn’t a meme for your current moment’s need, desire, or want. Faith is a continuous trust and confidence in GOD.  Despite the outcome of our prayers our faith should never waiver for the next thing we are believing for.  

So, while I didn’t win the crown, I won it in another way.  For a couple of years, I had a small business named Pageants girls by CB.  This business allowed young girls the opportunity to learn about the art and philanthropic aspects of pageants.   My business was service through the avenue of multiple cities parks & recreation programs.  Not only was I able to teach and introduce young ladies to pageantry, I was also able to mentor young adults on their personal growth journey.  These opportunities opened so many doors.  One that lead to being a private pageant coach.

One of the young ladies that I trained won her first pageant under my guidance.  What a feeling!  Not only for her, but for me too.  Clearly God had something else in mind for me.  This story shows that when God says no or closes a door, he always has something better in store for us.  It may not look how we want it to look and it may not be something that we ever thought of, but we have to have faith that God knows what’s best for our lives.  You may read in a lot of my post that I mentioned Jeremiah 29:11 often.  My uncle introduced me to this verse when I graduated from high school.

Since that time, I’ve held this verse dear to my heart as it has shown true over and over and over again.  Remember, our action is when we submit our petition to God with thanksgiving, we are to have faith without doubting.  When you do that and God doesn’t respond how you hope; know that it is OK because the No or the Wait will produce something better.  This faith walk is not for the faint at heart.  Don’t miss out on the good things that God wants to give us because we doubt God’s ability or we don’t like how God responded to our request. 

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.