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Am I the only one who carries full on conversations in their head?  About what you may ask?  Any and everything.  Scrolling through my amazon list I had this random thought.  I asked God to say I love you.  The moment I asked Him this, I felt guilt.  Like, Chetoca why are you asking God to say those words. You know that God loves you.  I mean, the bible says that He is love (1 John 4:16).

Obviously, I continued to browse my amazon list while the replay button was full steam ahead in my mind. This part of my curiosity I set out to shut down. The spiraling of it all comes from disputing, researching, manipulatively questioning and side-eyeing God through my foggy lens of understanding. 

Reasonably, I am an inquisitive individual. In one-on-one or group settings, this sentiment is often conveyed through silence, implicit cues, or unspoken gestures. Conversely, when I am in my head and engaged in conversation with God, I find myself unable to stay silent. The words coming out of my mouth are quick and run on.  The need or the persistence comes from not wanting to forget a thought. 

As the thoughts raced in my mind, I was reminded of John 3:16. If this verse doesn’t showcase God’s love for me and you then I don’t know what will.  Still, it wasn’t about the “knowing” if God loved me, it was about Him “saying” I Love You.  Weird, huh?  “Upon a new client signing up for my coaching program, I prefer to gain a high-level understanding of who they are.”

“Typically, I ask clients to provide an overview of their life, starting from childhood. A few years ago, a young man came to me for counseling.  However, he was prepared to transition from boyfriend to fiancé, yet encountered one issue. He had a hard time saying, “I Love You.”  You see he grew up in a loving family, where those three words were not part of their vocabulary.

He knew that his family loved and supported him. He knew it by their actions.  I asked him if it ever bothered him, not hearing those words. 

His response, a resounding NO.  He said, those are just words.  Their actions spoke the loudest.  His girlfriend disagreed. 

She came from a family that constantly said those three words.  To her, saying those words reinforced his feelings for her.

Maybe, that’s what I’m looking for. A reinforcement of His love for me. There is a difference between implied love and saying it out loud.  Thus, that’s the perspective I, along with many others, have been conditioned to believe.  Society is all about the feel goods. You can’t dispute that there are health benefits of saying “I Love You.”

The effect of love benefits you emotionally and physically.  Studies have shown communicating this positive feeling can lower stress hormones, lower cholesterol, and support a stronger immune system.  Hmm, I don’t know about the cholesterol part 😊. However, research has indicated that expressing “I Love You” regularly can reduce individuals’ likelihood of experiencing stress.”

That could be true from a human-to-human connection.  From a spiritual perspective Philippians 4:6, 7 says different.  As I write this, there is a connection between the young man stating, “his family actions spoke the loudest” and Jesus’s actions.  John 15:12-13 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love hath no man than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Jesus gave his life for me and you.  Understanding the cost and depth of this type of love, is beyond my comprehension.  I think my story could be classified as getting hung up on the wrong things. I was laser focus on “hearing” God “say” I love you.  Similarly, disregarding the display of profound love, exemplified by sacrificial acts where one willingly lays down their life for another.”

A verbal I love you isn’t needed.  As His non-verbal communication spoke the loudest.

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.