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Are you guys Netflix fans?  Well, I wasn’t until the pandemic had us on lockdown.  My husband and I decided to get rid of cable due to the cost. I mean why is cable expensive; like why?  Cable was a thing of the past, Netflix was there and I was pleasantly surprised.  Prior to getting rid of cable, it felt like there wasn’t enough quality movies to watch. After getting rid of cable I had plenty of time to search Netflix repository. I was able to find a lot of movies that interested me.

This particular Saturday, I decided to binge on a Netflix series. I found a limited series that contained 13 episodes. The series was about a young mother of one who was trying to escape her emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend.  The first time she escaped she enrolled in a women’s shelter and obtained government assistance. This assistance was conditional as she had to work a certain number of hours per week. Thankfully, she was able to find a job as a maid.

Raising her daughter alone she was also dealing with a mother who needed psychiatric help.  Her mother was free spirit who enjoyed being creative through her art pieces.  Watching the series you could tell that she loved her mom dearly, but struggled with allowing her mother to be who she was as she had been looking out for her mom since the age of 6.  This young mom’s environment was unstable, suffocating, and scary to say the least. 

As the series unfolded there were moments where it looked like this young mom was finally getting ahead only to be knocked back a few hundred steps.  Does this sound familiar to any of you?  It does to me. While she was a maid by day on the side she was also a writer. As the events of her life unfold, she wrote stories about what she was experiencing. A little backstory to this movie was when she graduated from high she applied to a college in Missouri.

She was accepted but unable to attend due to finances and caring for her mother, but this never deterred her from writing. Some of her writings were based on her time as a maid and how she perceived each customer she served.  Through cleaning 300+ toilets, returning to her ex 4 times, and helping her mom through maniac episodes she came out on the other side. Before reaching the other side she had a breakdown.

This breakdown produced hyperventilation, tears, snot, and the ugly cry.  Well… maybe that’s me describing myself when I have those moments.  At any rate it seemed like no matter what she did this young mother could not get ahead.  This part of the series all I could do was weep. Weep for her, myself, and others who have been their. I paused the series. Through my tears I asked God what do we do when we find ourselves in this emotional state?

I’m sure many of you have seen this quote floating around the internet that says, “You never know God is all you need until God is all you have.”  When you are doing all that you can and there is no movement; ; these are whispers from God indicating to spend time with him. Through meditation, here is what I understood from God:

1. There is a time for grief, but the season is only temporary.  Through those gut wrenching moments God is producing something amazing through you and for you.

2. Help others who may be in need even during your difficult times.  It is important to continue to pour into others.

3. The race isn’t given to the swift, but the one who endures. Keep going for you will reap the harvest if you don’t faint.

4. Spend time with God frequently so that you can be replenish with the nourishments that only he can provide.

Please know that God doesn’t want you walking around trying to resolve things on your own while expecting you to cover up your pain with a smile.  He wants you to lay your struggles, thoughts, and feelings at his feet.  Take refuge in the Lord as he provides his guidance, protection, and strength.

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.