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Right before I went to college, my mother gave me a piece of advice that has stuck until this day.  She said “Ship, I want you to go off to school and do your very best.  Set yourself up so that you can take care of yourself so that others won’t have too.” I don’t think my mother realize the impact that conversation had on me. As it set the tone for how I saw myself navigating different parts of my life. There is a difference between high standards vs. high expectations. 

The standard is the bar and the expectation is our belief about whether we will ever reach the bar.  It is possible to have high standards and low expectations.  Within my head, to achieve greater things meant I had to set high standards. For example, my weight loss goal has always been around 10 pounds.  This goal has been a journey since 2003.  When I’m dieting I take note of my calorie intake, weighing myself often, quality of foods, and etc.  

Doing the right things and not seeing results sends me into a downward spiral.  I am obsessing over everything I did to see where I went wrong.  This left me feeling depleted and deflated. In those moments I work hard to reach the goal, but have low expectations that I will accomplish the goal.  Can you relate?  Doing the right things and producing the results is defined as high standards. Perfection is driven by how things will appear and what others will think.

While I think wholeheartedly I was striving towards the high standard, I think subconsciously I was starving for perfection. This is what happens when we have come to define our own identify.

Much later in life I realize that my identity is found in Jesus Christ alone. This path will absolutely produce the best version of ourselves (i.e., high standards). 

Striving towards perfection creates an idolized or an idealized version of ourselves that is effortlessly hyper-productive, has little need for self-care, and can be powerfully seductive. 

Perfection the way society describes and/or defines it is a lie and is often dangerous.  The bible speaks about perfect doctrine. Mathew 5:48 says “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your heavenly Father which is in heaven is perfect..” Colossians 4:12 says “That ye may stand perfect and complete in all of the will of God.”  We are perfected forever through Christ Jesus. Come on now, you know that deserves a Hallelujah. 

Hebrews 10:10 and 14 KJV says “By the which will we are sanctified by the offering of the body of Jesus Chris once-for all; and by one offering he hath PERFECTED forever them that are sanctified.”  Neither I nor you are perfect in conduct, but we have been perfected through the revelation of truth.  How cool is it that God in His divine way made an imperfect man perfect?  Aren’t you glad that in Christ Jesus there is no striving for perfection? 

The burden of being perfect has been lifted for all humanity who choose to accept Jesus Christ as our savior. Please tell me in the comments how freeing this knowledge is for you?

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.