I never saw a problem with my weight until 2003 when I decided to compete for Miss NC USA. I was never what some may call a “big girl”, but I was never a “small girl” either. I was comfortable somewhere in the middle girl. While my weight has fluctuated over the years, I have been a constant size 10. I know, some of you are rolling your eyes saying, “What is Chetoca even talking about” (i.e. another post for another day-just finish reading this post J). Competing in pageants, you want to look the best you can and weight loss is part of “looking your best.”
I did a strict diet for four months where I literally ate nothing but egg whites for breakfast and for lunch/dinner, I had tuna fish and green beans. By the time I competed I went from 150 to 127. I was very focused and determined to lose weight; especially since I was getting married the following month. While I was successful at losing the weight, when I started eating a normal diet again, I gained all the weight I’d lost and I’ve been struggling ever since.
Due to that regime being so strict, I promised myself I would never diet that strictly again to lose weight. While I’ve tried other diet plans, it seems like the most I can lose is about 5-8 pounds and then the weight loss stops. When it comes to my weight I get discouraged easily, which leads to a destructive pattern of adopting unhealthy eating habits, punishment, and negative talk of myself.
While I’m currently being more consistent with the lifestyle change I’ve made, I’ve found this profound feeling of being content no matter the progression of this journey. I’ve had the opportunity of knowing what it is like to be thinner, a bit thicker, and to remain the same. While not perfect, this roller coaster has taught me to be content in any situation regarding any weight loss efforts.
What roller coaster are you stuck on where contentment is not a pit stop? Here’s my advice (1) No matter what it looks like for the roller coaster you are on, stay consistent. (2) Lean a bit more into GOD on your journey. God empowers us to be content with where we are while believing that Jesus Christ will empower (us) to do whatever we set our minds to according to his will.
The Holy Spirit continuously convicts, regenerates, comforts, teaches and guides us with a persistent enthralling urgency. 1 Samuel 12:22 says “The Lord will not abandon His people on account of His great name, because the Lord has been pleased to make you a people for Himself.” Please know that on your roller coaster ride, GOD will not abandon you because of your lack thereof. Instead, He is encouraging you with perseverance, contentment, and His strength that only He can give.
Ease & Stillness,
gralion torile
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