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How to give Godly advice without ruining your friendship

April 14, 2023

How quick are you at comprehending information that is given to you?  By way of reading, conversation, meditation, or etc.  For me, I read information about 10 times in order to fully understand what the messenger is trying to convey.  I haven’t always been “delayed” in comprehending information. Now it takes me a minute to fully feel comfortable knowing that I understand what I read.

When I first realize this, initially it made me insecure.  As time moved on I learned to pivot and adjust my expectation.  Look, as long as I get it in the end, I’m good. Reading the bible is no different. There are moments I want to pull out my hair (just kidding) due to the repeat of reading scriptures. To help me comprehend the bible, I have different bible translations to assist me.

I also found that hearing others perspective before reading a book in the bible helps with my comprehension. Recently I read the book of Job.  Like you we have all heard the story of Job and his friends.  Hearing about this book through the eyes of others the common theme was God restored what Job lost and more.

While that’s true, what I found interesting about the book was Chapter 42:7.  God is speaking to Eliphaz (i.e., Job’s friend) and says “…I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of me what is right.  Out of the entire book, I thought this was the most fascinating verse.  As when I read the book, I didn’t really see what was wrong with what Job friends had stated. 

I felt like they were trying to bring comfort while offering up different perspectives as to how Job found himself in this situation.  Throughout the book of Job, his friends have a lot to say about Job and his situation without knowing that God proposed Job to Satan (Job 1:8).In chapter 4 Eliphaz suggest that those who are innocent and upright are not destroyed. 

Only those who sow evil and trouble reap it.  While that is an interesting theory that is an inaccurate statement. The bible says it rains on the just and unjust (Matthew 5:45).  In essence Eliphaz was saying Job surely you did something for you to be in this place of torment.  In chapter 8 Bildad suggest that Job’s children sinned against God. That God gave his children the penalty of sin.

He also suggests as Eliphaz that Job isn’t blameless. God wouldn’t reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evil doers. I thought this was an interesting passage. The first chapter in Job speaks to how Job lived an upright life and shunned evil.  In addition, Job often sacrifice a burnt offering for each of his children thinking that they may have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.

On one hand it makes you think were Job friends really his friends? Like, did they really know him. Secretly, were they jealous of who and what Job had obtained in his life?  Is that why they took his moment of grief as a “I got you moment”? In my mind I can picture them saying, “I knew you weren’t as upstanding as you showed everyone to be.” Or could it be their perception was based on their own limited knowledge of who God is?

Like, you can read about God all day long.  If you haven’t experienced God for yourself, do you truly “know” God.  I don’t know the answers to these questions but it does make one think. In Chapter 11 Zophar suggest that Job has sinned. PERIODT. And that’s why he is having all of this trouble.  In other words, Job’s troubles were brought on by Job. 

“The friends” perspective had me reminiscing to times where I gave advice to others. While my choice of words wasn’t s as Job’s friends; my thoughts at one time was. I believe it was because of my limited knowledge and experience of God. As believers it’s important that we know who Christ is.  Knowing him will equip us to provide guidance to others in their time of need.    

We shouldn’t offer up advice based on our convictions, supercilious view point, or lack of wisdom.  Well intended advice is not good advice if it doesn’t align to what is RIGHT about God.  If the advice is no good the friendship may not be either.

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.

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