Blog

1996 I attend Elizabeth City State University.  What a time, What a time.  First time being on “my own”.  College life was the life.  Setting my own class schedules, becoming a flag girl in band, and playing a season of softball.  College was a dope experience that I will never forget. A lot of great memories.  One of those memories that I hold dear to my heart is meeting my now husband.  I was a freshman, and he was a senior. 

In my head, I thought he was the finest thing walking on campus.  My first encounter with Michael was in the cafeteria.  I was entering the cafeteria and he was leaving. He looked at me and smiled and went on his way.  My heart melted.  I stood there with my mouth open as the environmental air sucked the salvia from my glands causing dry mouth. Through the jokes and laughter of my friends I settled back into reality in need of water.

For the next few moments, I let them carry on with their jokes.  Out of nowhere I make the boldest statement.  I said, “that’s the one. I’m going to marry him.”  What did I say that for?  There was silence, odd looks, burst of laughter, and more jokes. They thought I lost my mind.  A few weeks passed and I was sitting on his bed watching a horror movie.  I’m not sure how this came about.  This wasn’t a date night. One of my friends was hanging out with his frat brother.  I accompanied her to his dorm room. 

My friend and her guy friend somehow orchestrated a meeting between Michael and me, leading to an unexpected evening on his bed watching a movie. Before you get any ideas, that’s all we did—watch a movie. Michael, being the gentleman he was then and still is now, made the evening delightful. However, my nerves got the best of me, and I barely spoke unless he asked me something. As the night grew late, I mentioned it was time to head back to the dorm, only to realize that my friend had quietly slipped away, leaving me blissfully unaware.

After calling my friend and another companion, they came over to Michael’s dorm to escort me back across campus, ensuring I didn’t walk alone. Good friends are truly invaluable. Michael and I parted ways without exchanging numbers or any contact information—just a simple goodnight. Weeks flew by until one day, while strolling on campus with my friend, we bumped into her guy friend. During our chat, I boldly asked him to set me up with Michael. Despite his efforts, it turned out to be a complete flop—Michael was already seeing someone.

“Sitting on my bed in the dorm, a prayer was sent to God asking for Michael to return. Even though he was never truly mine, that was the request made to God. Specifics were included in the prayer, ending with a declaration of trust in God to bring about a relationship with Michael.” That day I saw Michael in the cafeteria, I knew I was supposed to be with him.  I knew it.  After the prayer I didn’t think about Michael anymore. He graduated. 

His life began and mine continued at ECSU. I wouldn’t see Michael again until fall 97’ ECSU Homecoming.  I was happy to see him, but not happy to see him.  Maybe the dopamine wore off. We talked briefly and he gave me his number.  I took it and threw it in the trash.

For some reason I was thinking he wasn’t interested in me.  As I was throwing his number in the trash, I mumbled under my breath that “he and I was meant to be we will be.”

At that time, I knew nothing about Michael’s life after college.  I just did know about his hometown.  I had little hope of our paths crossing. My junior year of college I decided to return home and attend East Carolina University while working part time at Goody’s Department Store. 

I met a guy who was the manager of the men’s department.  As we got to know each other I learned that he was from the same hometown as Michael. Yes, of course, I asked him did he know Michael.  He said yes, “that’s my best friend.”  Shocked, I asked him to hook me up.  He said OK, Michael lives down the street.  I was like no way.  He said yes, he does.  The next night I had to work and around 8pm Michael walks through the door. 

That was a little over 26 years ago, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. From the moment I first laid eyes on Michael, I knew he was my husband. It wasn’t a divine vision or a gut feeling; I just knew. Without even knowing him, everything I saw in Michael was exactly what I had always wanted. It might sound crazy, but it’s the truth. I was certain we were meant to be together. Reflecting on our journey, it’s amazing to see how our story unfolded and our paths were aligned, even without us realizing it.

When I tried to get with Michael, he was seeing someone. When he came to homecoming, I wasn’t interested and threw his number in the trash. In these instances, I thought I reduce the chances of our paths crossing.  I thought I was at a disadvantage because of the space and time I found myself in.  Regardless of those instances, I still knew in my heart, the prayer I prayed about Michael was connected to the will of God. 

What are the chances, I would return to my hometown, and he lives up the street from where I work.  That is a lifetime movie 😊. Oh, and that I worked with his best friend. Really??? Reflecting on how Michael and I came to be, I realize that when your wants, needs, and desires align to the will of God, at no time, can you ever be at a disadvantage.  The will of God and being at a disadvantage is an Oxymoron; the two doesn’t belong together.

I’ve found that when God tells me something he never gives me the full picture.  Like, never, gives me the full picture.  When we are trying to accomplish a task that He has given us, it’s easy to think that He didn’t give us the task because things aren’t working out.  We get discourage and were ready to throw in the towel.  Don’t.  God knows what we need when we need it.  We only need to be active participants.  You nor I can never “mess up” to the point that what God spoke won’t happen. 

All we need to do is “trust the process.”

Ease & Stillness,

Chetoca B.